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How did the elephants hide in the strawberry patch? They wore red tennis shoes!

What do you call an Irishman hanging from a wire in your back yard?

Patty O’Lantern

What do you call an Irishman who runs into a brick wall?

Rick O’Shea

These are great Michelle!

Being a Scotsman (partially), making fun of the Irish is an acceptable way of entertainment.

No, that’s a joke, I’m wouldn’t want to be racist or anything.

Here’s one more I like. It has made the rounds around the internet but it’s still funny…

A frog goes into a bank and hops up to the loan officer. The frog says “Hi, what’s your name?” The loan officer says “My name is John Paddywack. Can I help you?” The frog says “Yeah, I’d like to borrow some money.” The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. He says, “Okay, what’s your name?” The frog says “Kermit Jagger.” The loan officer says “Really? Any relation to Mick Jagger?” The frog says “Yeah, he’s my dad.” The loan officer says, “Okay. Ummm…do you have any collateral?” The frog hands the loan officer a pink ceramic elephant and says “Will this do?” The loan officer says “Hmmm…I’m not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.” The frog says “Oh, tell him I said hi. He knows me.” The loan officer goes back to the manager and says “Excuse me, but there’s a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing and I’m not even sure what it is.” The manager says: “It’s a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan, his old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

Here’s a spooky joke for Friday the 13:

What’s huge, red, and eats boulders?

The huge red boulder-eater! Of course…

And an unrelated one:

What black and white and black and white and black and…

A penguin rolling down the hill.

What is black and white and read all over?

The newspaper…hee hee

How to put an elephant in refrigerator?

so simple…. open the gate. put elephant in and shut the gate.

another question…. how to put a coke bottle in refrigerator??

m waiting for the answers

Open the door, take the elephant out, put the coke bottle in, close the door.

Now, how can you tell the elephant was in the fridge in the first place?

That i will tell you… but first tell me if elephant is out of the fridge, for whom is this coke for?????
:-S

I don’t know, who is the coke for? I wasn’t aware that elephants drink coke. Unless it’s diet-coke, of course.

LOL!!! naah… Dude it’s his birthday today. He can manage to stop thinking about his physique at least on b.day.
and how can you tell the elephant was there in the first place????????? :-S

Oh, that’s easy- you can the footsteps the elephant leaves on the butter.

ghahahahaahhahahahha

Honesty is the best policy….......................
An independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she began interviewing young lawyers.

Lawyer jokes are great! The problem with lawyers is, 95% of lawyers make all the rest look bad.

No, I’m joking, lawyers aren’t ALL that bad.

A man joined a big MNC as a trainee.
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!”
The voice from the other side responded: “You fool; you’ve dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to?
“No” replied the trainee
. “It’s the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!”
The trainee shouted back: “And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?”


“No!” replied the Managing Director angrily.
“Thank God!” replied the trainee and kept the phone down…..

good one.

EK JOKE MERI TARAF SE

HEADLINES DATED 1ST JAN 2023:

1. President Sonia Gandhi and prime minister Priyanka Gandhi receive Italy prime minister Rahul Gandhi.

2. Dhoom 17 ready for release.

3. I will play next world cup – Sachin Tendulkar

4. Salman, Vivek and Abhishek attend Aishwarya’s 3rd marriage .

5. Abhi toh Mein jawan hoon – Dev Anand.

6. Petrol Rs.999 / litre (Bata price).

7. Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi completed 2,50,000 episodes & Baa has completed 400yrs.

8. Coach Ganguly resigns, as India is knocked out of World Cup in 1st round after losing to Korea

9. Siddhu launches his own TV channal where he can speak and laugh for the whole day.

10. After giving 49 flop movie in a row himesh reshamiya is coming in hollywood romantic movie sequel titanic 3

I like d humuor presented by all here.

What did one psychiatrist say to the other psychiatrist?

“You’re fine, how am I?”

What do we call an eagle with bad health??

ILLEGAL…............

ant’s family and elephant’s family are rivals but their children baby ant baby elephant are best friends. one day they were playing, mother was approaching towards them, elephant got frightened and asked ant what to do. what did the ant say?

ant said “hide behind me”